A thousand flowers bloom.

"Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things."
- Ray Bradbury

The (sometimes deadly) hardships of being an art student by Ruth Gwily


Posting as this has been holding me back for so long (fuck studying art) and I am finally feeling connected to my body enough to say fuck everything I am inspired.

I swear a lot when inspired.

Life is kind of surreal right now. Most of my time is spent between seeing my brother (who is now on a long term section and has a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia – only about 10 years late) and volunteering with the Samaritans. Life seems so up and down emotionally that I never really know where exactly I'm standing. Or if I'm standing.

However, I do start my new job soon! I got the job I really really wanted... on a psychosis ward based at one of the biggest psychiatric hospitals... only the largest mental health training institute in the UK! I'm really excited about working there, I'm also really happy that I get the opportunity to use my creativity in a mental health setting. A part of my job is working alongside the occupational therapist and arts therapist! It's strange that this is all happening after my brother returned home after nine years, but it's making me realise that this is definitely, definitely what I want to do with my life. There are so many areas of psychology I am interested in (mental health, gender, sexuality, art therapy, sex education, counselling, outreach and awareness work...) that I'm still uncertain of the exact route I want to go down (hell I've even been considering working towards being a psychiatrist but the idea of a five year medical training scares me senseless!) ...but I know this is where I belong. If I can mix my two passions of psychology and photography, it will be perfection.

Now it's coming to the end of 2012, I am hoping to feel less disconnected from myself. The last year or so has been pretty rough on my family and I haven't felt myself in quite some time. I've been exercising more and it's making me feel more in harmony with my body. It has been a while since I've felt connected to my body. I feel something is fundamentally amiss when I don't feel connected. My creativity goes and I feel like I'm going through the motions rather than living. I am really hoping this changes... wish me luck!


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