Ningyo.

I am honoured and flattered that a very talented Artist on DeviantArt drew this of me today...!



This leaves me feeling so warm inside! To think someone would want to draw me! Her drawing is beautiful... this is the real link and the artist... Ningyo.

Which is drawn from my photograph... Misadventure.

I feel like October may be a good month ♥

Music is the lamb that made a lion out of me...

This post is surely going to come across as insane to some people...

I’ve been listening to this video tape of music I taped off the music channels when I was 12/13...

And InMe – firefly came on!

Now I’m a little embarrassed of liking this song now (even though that guilty pleasure part of me must admit I still actually love the damn song) but it reminded me oddly of how much music means to me. I remember I used to listen to this song on repeat about five times before I walked to school, because I felt that people there couldn’t hurt me if I had a song stuck in my head, because I was in my own music bubble which protected me. The people at school who bullied me and teased me couldn’t hurt me because I was inside my own music bubble. Anyone who says music can’t change the world is wrong.

Obsessions... beauty, horror, anatomy, metal, car crashes, guns and JJ72!

I just stumbled upon a very interesting blog!

It’s all about, in the writers own words “An academic view of how fashion intersects politics, economics, gender, race, & pop culture” which is something I’ve always been interested in (and will debate with people when they say that fashion is meaningless) and indeed I wrote a paper on fashion and identity in my second year, as it’s something that’s always been fascinating to me.(I think fascinating is my favourite word, I use it far too much!)

I stumbled upon this blog because of one very interesting entry... Here...
which I adore as it accumulates everything which I have an obsession for! Anatomy, fashion, metal armor, Helmut Newton and Lady Gaga! I’ve always had an obsession with the anatomical, which always somewhat puzzled me... I’d love to be as something as noble as a Doctor and I find it all very interesting, but I lack a logical or scientific mind yet I have a fair few books now on biology and the human body! I have no idea where this attraction comes from (I suppose it’s like my obsession with low flying planes... why they interest me so much, I have no idea, but I scream like a teenager whenever I see a low flying plane!) but I suppose it’s something to do with what the writer in this blog suggests. The structure of the human body is incredibly captivating... I wrote in my dissertation how “Most, whether religious/spiritual or with no religious beliefs at all, believe the skin to be important - pain is one of the fundamental human sensations, and for the skin that houses our ‘souls’ – In the Cartesian philosophy of mind-body dualism – or, biologically, the skin protects the body interior. For this to be damaged is something to be feared or amazed by” and I believe this is where my very fascination comes from. Maybe I am just one of those people always in awe and wonderment about the world and life and people... the beauty and the horrors of all.... who wouldn’t find that intriguing?

To be a bit silly and to reference Peep Show here.. “Anything that can kill a man is fascinating” and I think this is where my many more morbid obsessions come from (Serial killers, car crashes, weaponry (guns!) biology)!

As most of the things I would have put references to you can now read in the entry I just referenced, I’ll leave you with another (not quite so weird) obsession of mine... the band that was JJ72. I was head over heels (still am) in love with this band from the age of thirteen... oddly enough they disbanded when I was eighteen so they are very much my teen year’s band. I have never loved a band as intensely as I loved their music... I can’t even describe it... (But my friends who knew me then can vouch for my utter fan girl fixation) but I was thinking about it and maybe it all ties in because a lot of the singers (Mark Greaney) imagery is quite primal and philosophical.

I’ll leave you with this video... (Which I love as I remember watching it on TOTP!)

Where I end and you begin.

I have a love/hate relationship with being nocturnal.

There are times I wish to change my sleeping patterns, as I often miss out on most of the morning, and sometimes when I’m awake too long at night I get depressed or lonely... and when I manage to get myself a job (and obviously for my new university course) I’m going to need to be awake at normal human hours...

But sometimes I just don’t want to give it up.

There’s something amazing about night. It’s almost 3am and I was just sat on my window ledge by my open window... and I adore this time. It’s so silent, there’s just an odd almost rumbling in the background which you’re never sure whether is the sound of distant trains or traffic far away, or the sounds of the earth moving. The air is so crisp and refreshing and everything looks incredibly beautiful. I feel like I can breathe more clearly at night... my thoughts are more vivid, my creativity is awake and I feel more alive. I feel so connected and disconnected from the earth at the same time... which is a hard thing to describe. No one is awake but right now, I am not lonely. I feel connected in a spiritual way which is... well, too hard to explain. Maybe the beauty of the earth just astounds me. At this hour I feel I can do anything.

And I just don’t want to give that up.

Three nights, non-stop nightmares.

I can't stop staring at this image.



If anyone has any ways to inspire me, I'd love to hear them.
I feel like I'm itching to make something, but I have no idea what.